#at least it's never felt like I have. This is very new to me.
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David Gaider on Dorian, under a cut for length:
"Now this is a fun one. It's no big secret I have a lot of feelings about Dorian, not least of which because he was my first (and only) gay male companion. There's a lot more to him than that, of course (as there should be), and it was quite a trip. So let's go! Now, DAI is a story all its own, but I'm sticking to the characters. In this case, back at the beginning, the writers were going to try something new: we were going to let the artists take a more active role in the companion creation process. Why? Because not doing so had caused a lot of problems. See, here's the thing: writers and artists speak two different languages. When talking about characters, we talk about their story. Who they are. What they want. We'd write up these briefs, huge and full of information... but it was never the information the artists needed. They wanted visual cues. I don't mean describing their appearance. Sure, we'd usually provide that, especially if there was a story case to be made, but often the artists vetoed us on appearance stuff anyhow so meh. No, I mean they looked for visual language while we tended to only talk about who the characters *were*. What would happen is they'd hone in on something visual in our write-up not intended to be a focus. The first write-up for Anders in DA2, for instance, mentioned he was "haggard" after his journey... and the first concept we got was this pale, shriveled man. "What... is this?" "YOU SAID HAGGARD!" 😅"
"That was the other trick: sometimes when we DID try to be more descriptive, we had to be extra cautious because the words could be interpreted very differently. You encounter this recording VO, too. A VO note says "hysterical" and you *meant* "really upset" but the actor read "scream like a banshee" Thus this caused problems, like I said. The artists would struggle, sometimes conjuring details just to give the character *something* but which would change the character... and, to us, the character was created. Done. We were already invested, probably already writing them. Something had to give. So this time we wrote a bunch of character briefs - but short. One paragraph. We stuck to vibes and the *emotions* we wanted the concepts to evoke. And we didn't name them. They got titles like "Slick Con Man" or "Ice Queen", so we wouldn't get too attached. Then we handed these off to the artists. And it worked nicely. The ones that just weren't inspiring we'd discard, no problem. The others had juice... and the artists felt free to play and offer lots of variations because we weren't set on anything yet. A lot of times, what they produced ended up inspiring US. It was a neat back-and-forth."
"This is what led to Dorian, in fact. He came from a short write-up entitled "Rock Star Mage" and it really boiled down to "I'm cool and I know I'm cool, so take that you cretins". And just like that, the first sketches (by Casper Konefal, I think? I bet I'm wrong) were all amazing. Instant fire. Me: "He looks kind of like... Freddie Mercury?" Him: "Is that bad?" Me: "NO ARE YOU KIDDING THIS IS AMAZING" Plus there was a monkey. Sadly, we had to lose the monkey. There were iterations to come, but this was really where Dorian was born: Tevinter mage, noble, savant, and too cool for school."
"When did he become gay? Not right away. Like I said elsewhere, we didn't talk romance and sexuality until after the concepts were more in place. But as we were brainstorming about why this hot shot mage left Tevinter, the idea DID come up that maybe it was because he was gay. Not directly, however. Homophobia isn't really a thing in Thedas, after all, so at first blush I didn't think that could work. "Rich kid gets kicked out of the house for being gay" wasn't a trope I wanted to explore. But, then again, magister families in Tevinter are *obsessed* with the appearance of perfection, so...? Any deviation from the "norm" is considered scandal-worthy. It said weakness. It said you couldn't control your house. Now... THAT had real promise. The writing pit discussed it a lot. So I think it's fair to say that the gay fairy was already circling Dorian even before we got to the romance talk. I think it's also fair to say that the rest of the team realized I low-key wanted to write him, because when everyone started calling dibs, who was left standing for me? (I pick last, remember.) I gleefully snatched him up and got to work... ...about six months later. I was very busy at the time. 😅 That late start meant I had to design and write VERY quickly. And I did. Somehow, though, this one... it came easily. "Catty gay man" isn't digging very deep, no surprise to anyone who knows me, and it had an extra layer of being so fun because Dorian was confident. He sparred verbally. I loved it."
"There was more to it, however. The conflict between Dorian and his father... ugh, how do I say this? Let's be clear: Dorian's story is not MY story, but it's also not far off. I wrote the entire confrontation scene in one go. After I was done, I probably cried harder than I ever have in my life. 🫠 I was unsure whether it was any good, however. I just didn't feel objective. I passed it over to Cori May - my friend but also Dorian's editor - and asked her to please tell me and be honest. She read it. She walked into my office after, tears streaming down her face, and just nodded. "It's good." Here's the thing. Not everyone is going to agree with this, but: I don't think a writer NEEDS to be a minority in order to write a minority. Sometimes those characters should simply exist, and we want them to. But if that character's story is ABOUT their experience as a minority? That's different. Dorian's story didn't need to revolve around his sexuality - and, honestly, it only did so as a tangent to his family issue, but they're so bound together it's probably irrelevant to split them - but my writing him meant it could be. It allowed me to SAY something. That felt good. It felt right. Ramon Tikaram came on board after a lengthy casting process (so many British Indian accents, oh god). I sat in on a few recording sessions... the confrontation scene, though? Ramon: *says line* Me: (curled up on a nearby sofa in fetal position) *shaky thumbs up* Caroline: "Yep. Great work, Ramon!""
"Dorian's sexuality isn't all he's about, but that's certainly how some viewed it. When the character was announced in 2014, his being gay was mentioned as the last of a number of points, and the instant response from some gamers was to act as if we'd called a press conference just to say THAT. 🙄 It was annoying. Still is. Overall, however, the reaction to Dorian was very positive. The number of straight men who said they romanced him still pleases me. The number of fans who privately contacted me who'd been through conversion therapy, some who said Dorian helped them survive? Well. Gosh. 😭 I did write him for Trespasser - though I hear that a late scope cut meant every conversation had been chopped by 1/3rd or more, and that meant a lot of nuance lost. Which is sad, if true, because it sounds like the result of that left some Dorian romancers a bit cold. Such is how game dev rolls. 😔 If you need more proof of how it was hard for me to let go of him, a short story I wrote after Trespasser came out where Dorian has a bit of closure with his dead father: medium.com/@davidgaider... So yeah. He'll always be my boi. And I'll always be thankful Bio gave me this opportunity. ❤️"
[source thread]
User: "I'm not going to lie, it's hard to take my mind off Dorian almost having a monkey." David Gaider: "If by “almost” you mean there was a picture of a monkey that the concept artist put there as a whim, and which would almost certainly have taken more cinematics and modeling time to put in than we could ever afford… then yes. 😉" [source]
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Finding comfort | Katie McCabe x Teen!Reader
Where you're always very timid, but open up to Katie
Woso masterlist | Words: 1k
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You had never been great at new environments. It always takes a long time before you are able to warm up to people you don’t know. So, being called up to Arsenal’s senior team and being surrounded by a whole new team definitely wasn’t an easy task.
The first few weeks had flown by, but you hadn’t really spoken to any of your teammates, besides giving short answers to their questions.No one seemed to mind that you were so timid, never pushing you.
Behind your back they had spoken about it, not in a bad way, more so that they were worried that you weren’t comfortable here. They tried in different ways to make you feel more included, hoping you would start opening up more, but despite their best efforts not much changed. However, your teammates were patient with you, and you were grateful that they weren’t pushing.
“Good morning, are you ready for training?” Kim said as she sat down besides you in the locker room. You smiled timidly and nodded. Your team captain smiled and quietly got ready besides you. Around you the room was buzzing with the chatter of the rest of your teammates.
Training today was a gym session. You enjoyed gym days because for the biggest part of it, you were working individually. While yes football was a team sport, so that part was very important, the individual work made you feel more comfortable with the new environment.
You started with biking, as that was usually the equipment that everyone liked the least, so you would have the space to yourself. After a few minutes of cycling, Katie walked up. “Hey Kid, mind if I join you?” In response you nod. She sits down on the bike beside you and starts cycling with you.
After a few minutes of silence, Katie turns her head your way with a serious expression. “I’ve got an important question for you.” You turn to her, worried about what she might ask. Katie McCabe wasn’t known for being serious, so this must be something big or important.
“Do you think cereal is a soup?” You look at her in disbelief, definitely not having expected that question at all. “That’s your important question?” Your lips curl up slightly. “Yes, I need to know where you stand on the matter.” She says just as seriously as she started.
This time your smile breaks out and you start laughing. Katie smiles proudly before she joins in on your laughter. “So,” She says when the laughter dies down. “Is it soup?” You shake your head. “Definitely not and you can’t convince me otherwise.”
Katie gasped, her face filled with shock. “Not soup? Unbelievable. I thought you had better judgement, Kid.” You felt the walls you had up crumble bit by bit every time she joked around.
The sound of your laughter caught the attention of a few of your teammates in the gym. They looked at the intersection between you and Katie with smiles on their faces. Who would have thought that Katie would’ve been the one to get you to open up more?
“I will let you off the hook this time. Everyone is allowed one wrong opinion, and you have just used yours.” You shake your head with a chuckle. “Good to know.”
The two of you continued chatting throughout your bike session. The team occasionally looks over, happy to see that you are feeling more at home. Wondering what kind of magic Katie used to get through to you.
“Do you maybe want to join me and toss the ball around?” Katie is quick to say yes, happy that you want to continue opening up to her. “Right behind you.” She says as she gets stopped by Leah on the way.
“I’ve never seen her like this. How did you get her to open up?” The blonde asks full of wonder. Katie shrugs, “I told you that I am funnier than the rest of you.” She walks off proudly, leaving Leah standing there dumbfounded.
You had picked out the weight that you wanted to use right as Katie walked up. “Alright, show me what you got, Kid.” She stood a few steps in front of you and got ready to catch the ball. You held it at chest height as you squatted down and in your movement up, you threw the ball her way. She did the same movement before tossing the ball your way again.
Just like on bikes, the two of you were chatting. It seemed like you were getting really comfortable with Katie, and there was just one thought on the older players' mind. “Why me?” She asked out loud before thinking.
“I eh, I mean you’re opening up to me and I was wondering what made you do so with me?” She threw the ball back your way. You catch it with ease and as you squat down you answer her question.
“You just made me feel safe.” You toss the ball back but Katie is so caught by surprise with your answer that it just falls to the ground in front of her. “I win.” You say with a proud smirk.
“Yeah yeah, well done, Kid.” Katie tries to shrug off the loss, but ultimately she’s feeling very good, because she had created a safe space for you without even realising it. Growing up with younger siblings had unintentionally prepared her for youngsters joining the team.
“I want a revance on this next training.” You shake her reached out hand. “Deal, but don’t be upset if I beat you again.” Laughter erupts in the room. Your cheeks turn a bright red when you realise everyone was looking at you.
Katie notices and puts her arm around your shoulder. “Get used to it Kid, that humour will get you far with these girls.”
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💗 If you enjoyed this fic, please consider liking, commenting, and reblogging! You can also supporting me by leaving a tip 💗
#katie mccabe#katie mccabe x reader#katie mccabe imagine#arsenal wfc#arsenal women#awfc#arsenal wfc x reader#arsenal wfc imagine#woso#woso x reader#woso imagine
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the way Arcane wasted character in season 2 is actually insane. They gave us good character design but no good character. Especially the new ones. Is there honestly ONE, one you genuinely cried over?
I cried over Mylo and Claggor. I cried over Vander in season 1. I cried over Powder screaming and sobbing after Vi in act 1 of season 1. I felt deep emotional pain over all of this because they gave me character and an understanding of the world we are in. And they did all of that in 3, THREE, episodes.
What did they do with Isha? Well I sure didn't cry when she died. Her character, while interesting just wasn't fleshed out at all. What I felt when they killed her was how idiotic the writers were for that because okay? like huh. They had 5 episodes with Isha and somehow managed to not make me care enough to cry. Not because Isha's potential wasn't there but because killing her was stupid and pointless, just to further another characters pain which could happen way more naturally without introducing a character to die.
What did they do with Loris? They tried to make him Vander (which okay weird why do that? especially if you want to bring Vander back anyway like uhm? what was the sense of introducing Loris as a Vander stand in and then bringing Vander back??). But he WASN'T Vander because they never showed him to be. They just told me he was. Which doesn't work. okay, he died. Did not care. The only thing I felt was rage again because it was so unnecessary and dumb, they could have made a lot with this character.
Maddie. Well Maddie is a whole other thing, isn't she? She was introduced in a way that already raised a lot of eyebrows. But in a "she is a cop" way and not she is on Ambessas side way. There is so much questions coming up with that. Had she been on Ambessa's side from the very start? Even when we first saw her on screen? Did she come with Ambessa? But how was she an enforcer then? Did she always live in Piltover but how did she then turn towards Ambessa? When she made that fist sign, was the plot between Ambessa and her already going, or did it happen after that? Why were we not shown any of this? this is NECESSARY to understand her character and why the end happened. We should have been able to feel betrayed as well but like? I did not feel betrayed I was just like "okay well, that happened off screen I guess."
Steb had not one talking line, like why was he here, was I meant to feel bad when he ran into The Grey, I can't even tell, help.
And then the side characters of Zaun, especially the Jinxers. The one woman who then died with Vi's hand in hers while wearing the uniforms of Piltover. Did not feel sad. Felt absolute huge amount of unfiltered rage. Her character should have MEANT something. I feel they tried to make her mean something but they failed there too.
Lest?? LIKE LEST COULD HAVE ALSO BEEN USED IN SUCH AN INTERESTING WAY. She just never came back. Okay. Great, at least she didn't die but like? Was I meant to get invested? Was I meant to care? Usually I should be able to tell if I should care about a character in a show or not but in Arcane s2 they tried to make me care and failed or if I cared well then they failed, too
anyways just the side characters especially were a huge disappointment this time around.
#did I forget a side character newly introduced?#if so well I guess that furthers my point#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane season 1#arcane spoilers#isha#jinx#steb#maddie#lest#loris#vander#media critical#tv shows#side characters
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hai hai haiii!! this has been stuck in my head for SO long, can we get chans reaction to reader surprising him with a skimpy outfit???
Hi darling! ofc you can! sorry it took so long! and to those waiting for drabbles do not fret there is an order and a method to my madness!! more to come soon!!
I want to take a moment to get a lil sappy (as if that never happens 🙃) and thank you all for going on this journey with me and supporting me all year. This blog has become my baby and so many of you have become very dear friends to me. To those who celebrate, happy thanksgiving, and to those who dont i hope you have a wonderful day anyways 💕
ABANB Drabble 05
Your nerves were shot.
The reflection in the mirror wasn’t you. Or at least not the you that you’ve come to know. No, she was someone different. The lingerie you wore was soft, the sheer teddy framing you perfectly and the pastel pink looked delicate against your skin. It was cute- sexy even.
Your hair was tossed around to give you a seductive edge and your makeup was done to match the lingerie, a pink dusting both your cheeks and a gloss on your lips. It wasn’t too much yet it felt like it was.
This was not you. Standing in the bathroom you fiddled with the edges of the teddy as you stared at yourself in the full length mirror. You felt like this whole ordeal was way out of your league, like when you walked out of this bathroom all he’s going to do is laugh at you.
Reasonably you knew Chan would never laugh at you for your effort, whether he approved of your look or not he would never put you down like that. But still.. Being sexy was not something you were used to or had even considered yourself to be so the lingerie was a new experience.
You hoped your scent of distress was not leaking out of you like a faucet but that hope was tossed right out the window when you heard the alpha call your name from the adjacent bedroom.
“Baby? You alright in there, my love?”
You jumped at the sound of his voice, so stuck in your own head that you were not expecting the distraction.
“Uh,” Your voice cracked slightly. Clearing your throat you continued, “Yeah, m’ fine.”
His deep hum reverberated through the walls, “What are you doin in there, sweet girl? You’ve been in there for over an hour.”
Shit, he noticed.
“N-nothing, Channie.” You called back, cursing yourself for stuttering.
“If you're doing nothing in there then how ‘bout you come out here so we can do nothing together, hmm?” His voice was amused, yet with a hint of confusion. You paused, weighing your options . You could go out there and make a fool of yourself, or you could stay in here where it’s safe. You never got to decide for yourself before Chan lowered his timber, using his alpha tone to draw you out. “Omega. Come out.”
Your hand was on the doorknob before you even knew you had moved, slowly twisting the knob. You took a deep breath as you opened the door, the hinges squeaking as you did so (Chan never got around to fixing that damn squeak but that is a battle for another day).
The patter of your bare feet on the wooden flooring drew the alpha's eyes to the bathroom door, his pupils immediately dilating at the sight of you.
Your gaze was cast down as you entered the bedroom, unable to meet his eyes in fear of becoming even more embarrassed than you already were. It wasn’t until you heard the deep growl and smelt the sudden spice that emanated from the man that you finally let your eyes rest on him.
“Omega… You tryin to kill me or something?”
His hands were fisting the sheets that he rested upon, his knuckles white as he tried to keep himself in control. He felt his self control slipping away as he drank you in. The soft lace complimented your skin perfectly and the sheerness of it left little to the imagination. It was a delicate look, surprising but absolutely perfect for his sweet little omega. To him you looked devastatingly delicious and he wanted nothing more than to ravage you.
The scent in the air was ever changing, the neediness was seeping out of Chan in thick waves, so thick you were sure it was stain the walls. You had never seen that look in his face before. It made you feel like an animal of prey that had been found by a hungry predator. It was a deep seated feeling you had only encountered when an alpha was in rut.
Chan's growls never ceased as you got closer to him. His hand shot out to beckon you closer. You grabbed the hem on your teddy and looked at him shyly. “Do you like it, Channie?”
Your hand fit into his and he groaned as if he had been burned when your skin made contact, yet he only pulled you in closer, hauling you into his awaiting arms and on top of him.
“Like does not even begin to describe the way I feel right now, Baby.” He purred, his strong hands running along the edges of your lingerie, then sliding up under it to touch your bare hips. His head leaned up to bury into the crook of your neck, his sharp teeth nipping and kissing along your skin, making your head spin. “Right now, all I want is to rip this pretty little nighty right off your perfect body and fuck you into this matteress.”
His words made you tremble, a soft gasp escaping you when he bit particularly hard into you. “Alpha.. Please..”
You could feel the smirk on his lips at your reaction. “Don’t worry omega, Alpha is gonna take excellent care of you.”
Your night had only just begun.
©doitforbangchan
#stray kids#abanb#stray kids x reader#skz#bang chan#skz smut#stray kids smut#bang chan x reader#bang chan smut#stray kids abo
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Hi! I was wondering if you're planning to continue the "Stuff the Biden Admin is Doing" series through early January? I'm seeing a lot of hopelessness and (obv) tons of focus on the new cabinet picks, their plan for the first 100 days, etc. And I'm hoping that we can take some time to focus on what (if anything) the admin is using these last few weeks to try and accomplish. Ty for all you do!
honestly I don't know.
when I started it there was just overwhelming zeitgeist that Biden didn't do anything as President, that he was so old he was basically dead, that his brains were soft bananas and endlessly "he promised to get rid of Student loan debt and that just never happened! so why believe anything he says!" all of which was horse shit. So I felt like rather than just bitch about it, I'd do what I could in a very small way to be counter programing to that. But the election was always a part of it? I was always making them with the implied case that Joe Biden deserved re-election which I firmly believe he earned by any objective marker, and after he decided he couldn't overcome the propaganda wave about his age and health, that his Vice-President surely deserved election based on what their administration had managed.
I hope I did convince at least some people to vote for Harris in the end.
any ways, for me posting more as the Biden administration ends would be deeply depressing, dealing with what we're losing and comparing what every week will look like for the next 4 years. Also at this late date, new rules are subject to a review period where the President can freeze and reverse them pretty easily so a lot of anything the Biden team passes can and will be stopped and returned because Trump will become President during the review period. Likewise any Executive Orders Biden's signed during his Presidency can be ripped up on day one of the Trump Presidency
So anything the Biden team gets done before January is very fragile at best and thats sad and depressing
any ways, I think if I'm feeling up to it in January I'll maybe try to write up some kind of overview of the full 4 years of the Biden Presidency and how great it was. And Sadly I suspect I'll get more and more active in covering the trash of the second Trump Presidency
sadly for all of us, I don't think there will be much good news in the years ahead, but I think we have to learn to live with that? um authoritarianism relies not so much on enthusiastic mass support so much as mass apathy, the majority going "ugh there's nothing we can do, why bother paying attention" or "it makes me too sad/upset to watch the news" I see a lot of people pushing vaguely self helpy "take care of yourself" type posts about gardening or whatever as activism and I fear people pulling away from the uncomfortable, from politics and giving up on the idea that change is possible. Someone talked about how middle class liberals in Europe, in Germany in particular after the Revolutions of 1830 and 1848 failed almost totally and the authoritarian conservatives won, these liberals withdrew from political life and became very focused on art, music, domestic life because they gave up and you have in the 1850s-80s a period where conservative elites in Germany have basically all their own way and it had longer term echos. I fear that a lot.
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Until Death Do Us Part
Chapter 2/10
Chapter 1
Summary: On your wedding day your marriage is sealed with a sanctified bond. A powerful magic that allows your minds to meld and cannot ever be undone. It is also required to share your darkest secret for the bond to be bestowed. While committing to this bond with your new husband, your secrets are shared. Yours is mostly harmless, that you find his brother Seokmin very attractive. His is… less so.
Series Warnings: Wonwoo x fem!reader, slight Seokmin x fem!reader, established relationship, angst, swearing, drinking, smoking, smut MDNI 18+, unprotected sex, pet names (baby girl, pretty girl, princess), oral sex (male and female receiving), breeding kink, slight daddy kink, size kink, reader has a vagina that gets described as a pussy/cunt, slight dub-con for a second then clear consent,
Chapter warnings: Swearing, this one is pretty tame ngl
Word count: 5.7K
Author's note: Hello again, long time no see! I've been sitting on this series for over a year now and have just been itching to get some more of it out, so here's chapter 2! I'd love to hear what you guys think <3
This is a work of fiction and in no way is meant to represent the actions, ideals, or attitude of the idol Jeon Wonwoo.
The crowd swarmed the floor as Wonwoo and Seokmin returned to their seats above the festivities. You were swept up again by the maddening masses of men trying to sell their sons to you. Your father had never seemed so happy. Your mother and sisters relished the attention, their dance cards filling quicker than usual. You tried to pull a smile across your features but with every new name to remember and face to learn it was getting difficult. You felt a deepening sadness and a gripping in your chest as if you’d lost something.
“Father, I need to be excused for some fresh air.” He nodded, gesturing to the castle guards to follow you as the crowd of fathers parted for you.
“Would you like me to escort you miss?” One of the men offered, a tall younger man - Vernon if you remembered his name correctly.
“I’m sure she’ll be okay boy.” Your father's large hand settled on his shoulder. “But why don’t we discuss your newly acquired title hm? I am so sorry to hear of your father’s passing.” A smile was spread across Father’s face as the younger man nodded eagerly.
A guard stepped away from his post as you ventured to the outskirts of the room and towards one of the many pairs of side doors.
“Miss.” He nodded towards you, eyes dull. “The balconies are this way if you would like some air.”
“You don’t need to follow me any further, thank you for showing me the way.” He didn’t react to that, other than a small sigh escaping him. Under the moon's light, his skin seemed duller and sunken, the dark bags under his eyes were stark against his pale eyes. The nameless guard stood watch at the balcony doors as you stepped outside. The sun had set while you were inside, the air now cold and harsh against your skin. You felt the raw sting of the wind, regret settling into your bones as the idea of heading back inside ran through your mind. But the moon looked so pretty.
“Selûne?” The night stayed silent. “Moonmother?” The pain was back in your chest, that awful grip on your lungs that froze you from the inside. “Moonmother, are you not there?”
“Trouble getting through to your deity?” The man was tall, taller than any other you’d spoken to that night. He swirled this tall glass in his hand, the liquid a warm brown as he eyed your form, drinking you in as the glass remained untouched.
“Who are you? How’d you-?” His smile showed sharp canines, white and shining in the cold moonlight.
“Oh, you’d be surprised how easy it is to convince people to let you go wherever you want when you’re the Royal Guard.” His smile was brazen; the confidence oozed off of this strange man in almost palpable waves. “Well. At least when they think you’re the Royal Guard.” He took a long sip of his drink without his eyes leaving yours. The shot of fear that rushed up your spine was almost primal, the innate fear of that predatory gaze still lingering in your bones. Your legs trembled beneath your dress, eyes not daring to leave his for fear of missing him move. You watched him intently, his long dark hair curled slightly at his ears. To most, you assumed this man would be called beautiful; you dare say if you met him on the street, he might steal your breath away. But right now, there was no beauty in those features, just a sense that if you broke the surface of this gentlemanly façade, a torrent of anguish would wash over you. The power behind those brown eyes, the calculated cunning, the slight tensing of the muscles under his dress shirt. He was a predator ready to pounce.
“You don’t have to look so terrified. I’m not here to hurt you.” He said after downing the rest of his drink. “Just here to give you some…” That awful smile accompanied his pause, bearing the full set of perfectly sharp white teeth he had. “Let us call it friendly advice.” He stepped closer, now only a few feet from you. “Marry Wonwoo. Do whatever it takes to marry that man. I already know you’re fucking him, so it shouldn’t be too hard.” His eyes lit up at the blush blooming across your skin. “If you don’t.” He shook his head. The sigh that left him felt too fake, performative. “A lot of people will be very disappointed.”
“Why?” The word was so quiet you almost couldn’t hear it.
“Why? Oh, darling, don’t worry your little head with the why. Just do as I say, and everyone will be fine.” His glass was empty now, the condensation gathered upon his fingertips as he leant his elbow on the balcony rails beside him. His hair fell slightly in front of his face, but he didn’t make a move to fix it; he just continued staring.
“I’ve got a lot riding on you, you know.” The glass was falling towards the ground below you both before you knew it. The glass smashed into a million tiny shards on the gravel path below, and as you tore your gaze away from the stranger to look, you felt a heat like nothing before lick at your wrist. Yelping, your instinct was to force your body away from this heat and push yourself further into the wall behind you. But as you did, as you felt the cold stones digging into your back, as you began to try to make sense of this whole situation, you found yourself all alone again.
The guard hadn’t heard any of this secret rendezvous, it seemed, or if he did, he was very good at hiding it. You touched his arm, afraid now of being so far away from the safety of the crowd. He was more than happy to escort you back, walking steadily beside you.
The wall of people was as intimidating as it had always been. The judging sea of eyes and gossiping whispers clogged the room, pulling all the oxygen out of you again. You tried to steady yourself, raising your gaze up towards the painted ceiling. There was a sudden rush beside you, an arm intertwining with yours and pulling you along with them through the crowds. It took a few moments before you realised this person was your mother, leading you through the throngs of people towards the centre of the room once again. It wasn’t until she stopped so abruptly and you’d crashed into her back that you realised why she was almost frantic. She’d come to stop at Wonwoo and Seokmin’s feet.
“I’m so sorry, I’ve finally found her!” Your body tipped forward as she pushed you closer. “My daughter is incredibly grateful for this honour.” You could feel what she was trying to say to you and curtsied softly.
“I apologise for stepping outside. It’s not that I do not appreciate the honour, I needed some fresh air is all.” You didn’t raise your stance yet, waiting for one of them to speak.
“It’s understandable that someone of such low class would be overwhelmed at an event such as this.” Their mother’s velvety smooth voice rang through the room as a silence fell upon the crowd. “I wouldn’t have expected anything more from you child.” Her fingernail was sharp as she pushed your chin up, eyes darkening as they locked onto yours. “My my, what a fire in your eyes darling.”
“Thank you, your majesty.”
The next morning broke with a storm.
The windows rattled as they were pelted with rain, the sky dark and overbearing. You spent most of the morning wrapped in the warmth of your quilt, barely conscious enough to pull yourself from its safety.
The early hours slowly gave way to the relentless sun and its cold light. Your chest still felt heavy. Somewhere deep within you, somewhere that you weren’t sure you could ever reach, there was a weight settling.
“Darling, are you awake?” Your mother’s voice was soft and calm as she made her way into your bedroom.
“Yes, mother.” The bed sheets rustled and bared you to the cold morning air as they fell away from your body while you stirred. “I’m awake.” Your eyes fell upon her, and that small weight in your chest lifted slightly. Her smile reached her eyes as she seated herself at the end of your bed.
“How are you feeling?” She gently ran a hand through your hair, pushing the strands out of your face.
“Overwhelmed.”
“And” she paused “how does your man friend feel?” Her tone was tentative as if speaking to a wild horse that may bolt any moment.
“Man. Man friend?”
“Oh, come now, you think I didn’t know? I was young too once.” You let out a sigh, how could you ever begin to explain that this man friend your mother was so worried about was the crown prince?
“He’s… changed. He’s not the same man I knew before.” Your voice trailed off, the sudden and unexpected threat of tears stealing your ability to speak. “He’s just not who I thought he was.”
#seventeen#svt#seventeen wonwoo#svt wonwoo#seventeen fanfic#svt fanfic#seventeen smut#svt smut#wonwoo#jeon wonwoo#wonwoo x reader#wonwoo x you#wonwoo x y/n#wonwoo fic#sisterofsomeone writes
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“What did you fucking say?”
(Rivals) Rupert Campbell-Black x Reader
Suggestion by a sweet anon 🫶🏽 / Rupert would go the ends of the earth to protect you, as he always told you. However, you’d never seen it in action…
18+ FANFIC / Feral, protective Rupert 🩷 Reader character aged at 21 🫶🏽 Mentions of half the cast 😅
It was a tantalisingly crisp Spring afternoon — golden rays of the sun casting a glow against the tremendous cups of daffodils and the brisk breeze dancing between the blades of grass at Green Lawns. Freddie and Valerie Jones had decided to host a garden party, meaning copious amounts of horrific champagne and a hoard of people exchanging fickle pleasantries. It was also yours and Rupert Campbell-Black’s first public outing as a newly established couple, and you secretly adored the scornful looks you received from every attendee’s envious wives as you arrived, hand-in-hand. The crowd has grown silent as he led you into the flamboyant garden, mouths agape in resentful shock.
“Charming welcome, as always.” Rupert remarked towards you, shooting the hushed crowd a fraudulent smile. Soon enough, their conversation grew frightfully noisy once again, although a few piercing gazes remained on you. “Oh hello, Mr Campbell-Black, please do help yourself to champagne.” A woman with a gaudily colourful dress on — mismatched hues of green and pink slapped onto a black linen shell — spoke towards your boyfriend, ignoring your presence entirely. “Thank you, Mousie. We will.” Rupert nodded, making his way to the buffet table and pouring you both a teeming flute of champagne. He just about made it over to you to hand you the glass, before he was whisked away by Valerie to introduce to an adoring gaggle of fans.
From across the carefully preened lawn, Tony Baddingham was involved in a tedious conversation with some television executives, but his piercing eyes leered at you like a hawk eyeing its prey. “Hello, gorgeous. Feeling like an outcast yet?” A familiar voice chimed from behind you, heavy hands pawing at your shoulders. “Hello, Bas. Not yet.” You grinned at the olive-skinned man, turning around to face him. At least you had one friend here — you had spent just as much time with Basil as you had with Rupert, often feeling like a third wheel in their fantastical friendship. “Oop. No. Not today.” Your boyfriend’s boyfriend groaned, bringing your champagne flute to his mouth for a stolen gulp, and practically bolting in the opposite direction. Utterly confused by Basil’s prompt exit, it immediately became apparent as Lord Baddingham emerged afore you.
“Why, hello there. Lord Baddingham. And you are… Rupert’s latest conquest, I take it? You’re not the first poor bitch he’s dragged along to one of these things.” The Roman-nosed man spat. God, Rupert’s right, he is a total cunt, you thought to yourself. “Lovely to meet you, Lord Baddingham. Rupert has told me all about you.” You respond — saccharine smile aching your lips. “Which lie has the poor bastard told you to get you here then? He’s never felt this way about anybody before, he’ll give you the world, or your pussy’s too tight that he can’t let you out of his sight?” Tony chortled at his own repulsive witticism. “I don’t think that’s rather appropriate to say to somebody you’ve just met if you don’t mind my saying, Lord B. I’m happy with Rupert.” You reply, but you needn’t have. Tony’s predatory eyes were ogling your cleavage, dreaming of something so very, very out of his reach. He leant in towards you, hot, acidic breath washing across your skin. “When he chucks you, you know where to find me. I wouldn’t mind a go on those marvellous tits.”
“What did you fucking say?” Rupert boomed from behind him, his voice irresistibly sexy and his presence providing the most needed wave of calm. Tony paused for a moment, exhaling deeply and turning on his heels. “I was just taking a moment to introduce myself to your new lady.” He replied, lying through his teeth. “No, what did you just fucking say to her?” Rupert reiterated, teeth grinding together so hard they could’ve crumbled. “Steady on, old chap. You’ll dispose of her in a few weeks, and she’ll be wanting to hold onto the fame with a new cock.” Tony hissed, the words leaving his mouth bitter and cold. It made you shiver in disgust.
Without hesitation, Rupert’s arm swung and delivered a forceful punch to Tony’s jaw, knocking the sinewy man to the floor and coaxing a ripple of gasps from the now gathering crowd. You clapped your hands across your mouth, shocked into silence. “Rupert! Don’t lower yourself, for fucks sake.” Basil thundered, sprinting over to his friend and pulling him aside. Tony, sitting up, tended to his bruised and bleeding jaw, Monica now fretting beside him. Rage seethed through Rupert’s body, but he smirked at the pain he’d inflicted on his mortal adversary.
“I’m terribly sorry you had to see that, angel. But there was no way I was going to allow him to speak of you like that.” Rupert huffed, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you tight to his chest. “Yes, of course. Well done, Rupert. Made yourself feel like the big man now, have you?” Tony continued his barrage of abuse, pulling himself to his feet and spitting a bloody glob of phlegm onto the ground. Marching towards him and grabbing a tight fistful of Tony’s navy silk shirt, Rupert practically lifted him from the grass. “Listen, Baddingham. If I see you so much as glance in her direction again, you’ll be straight to Corinium nursing a lot more than a fucking broken jaw. Do I make myself clear?” He seethed, and rather enjoyed seeing Tony spluttering in confusion. “Yes…” He managed to choke out in that weedy, pathetic voice of his.
“Good.” Rupert muttered, loosening his grip of Tony’s shirt and watching him fall to the ground once more. Taking a firm grip of your hand, Rupert ushered you towards the pathway. “Come on, angel. Let’s go home.”
#rivals#rivals disney+#rivals disney#rivals fanfic#rivals fanfiction#rupert campbell black fanfic#rupert campbell black x reader#rupert campbell black#rupert campbell-black#alex hassell#tony baddingham#lord baddingham#david tennant#basil baddingham#luca pasqualino#my own dreadful writing
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Alicia watches the introduction video
CW: mind control, brainwashing, bimbofication, unaware, femdom, femsub, maledom(indirect)
Alicia settled into the leather seat. Behind her a loud click echoed through the room. She fiddled with her business skirt, fingers numb. Taking a deep breath she tried to calm her beating heart. She just finished an interview for a new job. Everything was fine. Nothing worrisome happened. Quite the opposite, she told herself, they invited her to watch the orientation. That had to be good. The queasy sensation in her stomach was surely her nerves.
Hesitant Alicia put a lock of her long black hair behind her ear. Another deep breath sent shivers through her ample chest, one she tried to hide in a grey business suit. She swallowed a lump of nervousness down, eyes finally settling on the bright screen. They told her this was mandatory. Yet it didn't help to soothe her. Her legs crossed to at least distract her from her nervousness, the smooth pantyhose making them appear a bit thicker than she would like. This would all be over soon. Just get through this stupid video and she would get the job.
Alicia took another deep, trembling breath when the video began. A loud annoying, yet memorable, jingle danced through the air. Flickering an office came to life on the screen. The quality seemed rather low to Alicia like something from the 90's. The furniture appeared to have come from the same era as well. At least it felt that way to Alicia who was more accustomed to clean, simple and modern offices.
With her brows slightly knitted together Alicia watched a woman waddling into view of the camera. Alicia's eyes blew wide open at the clothes the woman wore. Her heels had to be around 12 inch, at the very least! A tight red skirt swayed with each step the woman made, drawing the camera's and Alicia's attention towards her behind.
Her behind which jutted out like she was in constant mid-bend. Alicia's jaw dropped when the woman finally sat down, and leaned back, her skirt sliding up her thick thighs. Her breasts looked enormous on top of her slim body. The flimsy blouse hid nothing. If Alicia had to bet, the top buttons would pop at any time, freeing those big tits. Tits, her ass. A shiver ran over Alicia's skin when the image of her in that same outfit popped to mind.
'God no,' she told herself. There was no way she could wear something so skimpy. Yet the idea sent a pulse of molten desire through her core. She pressed her thighs tighter together as if that could hide her body from view.
Alicia's attention returned to the woman on screen when her bright, red lips parted, and a melodic, sensual voice filled Alicia's ears. "Hi," she paused, "and welcome to this very short introductory video to your new job!" The smile grew even more on the woman's red painted lips, "This will give you some basic knowledge of how you will act everyday."
With each passing sentence, a strange and unnerving sensation crawled up from her toes. Alicia writhed in the leather seat. She didn't want to listen to that woman anymore, her voice so seductive, sending unwanted and unusual pulses through her body. With a deep breath — she settled into her seat — ears perked, listening.
"When I first started here-" her voice lowered to a sultry purr, "-the office environment seemed a lot like a prison to me," She laughed a laugh so light and joyful — Alicia found herself giggling.
"But now," the woman continued, "it's different, it is like a playground." Her eyes twinkled with an alluring void. Alicia couldn't help but be drawn in, her mind blanking as the woman's smile grew. "We are at a wonderful company where your growth-" she moaned, cupping her breasts "-will never stop." She arched in her chair, pushing those bountiful globes on display, her head falling back. "We will help you unlock-" a hiss left her throat "-all your potential."
Alicia held her breath. She watched with bated interest as those voluptuous lips opened in a soft gasp.
"We love seeing-" another loud, sensual moan echoed through the room, "-you grow and succeed!" The woman giggled, tilting her head, exposing her slender neck. "You have nothing to fear when you start, our company is very friendly, and I know," she leaned closer to the camera, whispering, "that you'll be-" her eyes closed as another wave of ecstasy ran through her "-absolutely happy and content."
With each moan, each sway of the large chest, each pout of her lips — the video captured the speaker in every glorious moment of lusty pleasure. Alicia squirmed and shifted in her leather chair, the heat in her lower stomach growing, spreading like wildfire throughout her entire being. And yet, Alicia couldn't stop watching. The static danced inside her mind. She felt like her brain had been wired directly into this video.
"Now, let's talk about work-appropriate behavior," the woman chuckled. "When we say 'be the most slutty, erotic and enticing creature imaginable,' we don't just mean dress like a slut. Oh, no. Company policy demands you change everything about yourself. Your personality, your hobbies, your friends. Anything." She smirked, a dangerous look in her bright eyes, one that sent an icy shiver through Alicia. "Your hair will grow long. Your body will reshape. You will be the best slutty version of you possible," she giggled as a soft orgasmic gasp slipped her parted lips. "And you will love it. There are so many possibilities in which your new form might look, but there's no doubt that it's better than what you've been, who you are," her voice dropped into a husky breathy tone. "It's better than the weak shell of the woman you were." The woman grinned widely at the camera.
Alicia's insides quivered at the sight. But not in fear. No. An unexplainable feeling had her clenching her muscles tightly, her insides fluttering. An unfamiliar feeling of hot, seething lust surged within. She felt her nipples stiffen, aching to be touched, stimulated, and suckled. Alicia's eyelids grew heavier, her mind swam in the thick, sticky haze of the eroticism. A thin film of sweat coated her skin, her clothes stuck to her body.
Alicia's attention was dragged to those thick, red lips, and how they curled around a smile. No. Not a smile. A hard long shaft. The woman moaned softly around that long thick thing in her mouth. Her eyes fluttered with joy. Each moan and slurp sounded amplified to Alicia. Every wet squelch of spit. Each grunt of effort. Even the soft sighs and heavy gasp. It all filled Alicia's head. Her own lips formed a ring. Sucking on nothing she squirmed on her seat. Her legs trembled, spread wide.
"That's it. Just let the sensation run over your whole being." The speaker crooned, pulling that huge length out from her wet, hot, welcoming mouth. She stroked the shaft lazily with her manicured fingers. "Feel it push everything out, but the desire to be a slut, a needy whore." She shuddered at her own words. Her face flush in a bright shade of arousal. "Yes. Let that cock slide into you, and take what's yours." She breathed huskily. "Feel how your self melts into that new, perfect form."
The speaker looked directly at the camera. At Alicia. Directly into her hazy mind. Into her lust clouded eyes. Into her dripping heat. The woman grinned, a look full of promises. And the world darkened for Alicia. Her mind felt blank, her head fuzzy. The world around her disappeared as her own breath sounded far away. As if someone pulled the plug, and Alicia was slipping into the void.
Hours later a gentle shove woke Alicia up. Wetness drenched her clothes. Her body was flushed in an all-encompassing pink blush. The air filled with a sweet, intoxicating scent. Her gaze met that of the person next to her. A woman with big, beautiful eyes. A smile of recognition pulled her soft lips wider, her eyes twinkled with a dark knowing. "Hello, darling," she chuckled.
A golden badge sparkled on the woman's large breasts. Electricity shot through Alicia's nerves. With a stretched set of lips she bolted up. Body stiff and at attention she pushed her chest forward, her butt out. "Hello Miss Brighton," she cooed. The words sounding sweet and sultry, so very different from how she remembered speaking.
Miss Brighton smirked. Her gaze slid down the girl's frame. Her tongue ran over her soft, pink lips. A shimmer of appreciation danced in her eyes. "You've made a wonderful, most beautiful, change, Alicia. The company will be proud to have such an alluring slut working for us."
The words alone enticed a moan through Alicia's mouth. A blush spread across her face and she nodded eagerly. She watched with hungry eyes when Miss Brighton leaned over Alicia. Their faces mere inches apart, her hot breath ghosted over Alicia's cheek. The warmth of it was both a caress and a command to pay close attention. "You have completed the basic training, but-" she let it hang for a moment.
Alicia straightened. "Yes, Miss Brighton?" A quiver of desperation tainted her voice. Miss Brighton's hand landed on her shoulder. A finger traced circles on Alicia's bare skin.
"You'll have to follow a strict regime to be truly useful for the company," Miss Brighton drawled, her lips only moments away from touching the other girl. A low whimper of anticipation escaped Alicia's lips. "If you are a good, eager, obedient employee, and you prove yourself, then you may just get a special reward." She pressed her breasts against Alicia's, squishing them together. "Big massive tits. Worthy of a slutty whore." She breathed the words into Alicia's ear. Shudders of arousal danced through the girl, her body trembling with a burning desire, and the promise of pleasures yet to come.
Miss Brighton licked along the edge of Alicia's ear, pulling the lobe with her teeth. "If you behave, you might get to suck some big, hard cocks in front of the board of directors." Miss Brighton's breath brushed against the shell of her ear as she spoke. Her words were quiet, barely a whisper. "Would you like that? To suck on all of them? Their hard shafts pushing deep inside you as your tight cunt is fucked so very, very nicely."
Alicia whimpered in reply, unable to form coherent thoughts, unable to do anything beyond trembling, her whole being consumed. "Yes, Miss Brighton." She managed finally. "I would like that, more than anything else in this whole world." The words came easily, tumbling out without a single hitch in the girl's throat, as if she had spoken the words hundreds, if not thousands of times before. And in truth, they were not only familiar but deeply true.
"Very good. Then follow me. A whore needs to look the part."
With a soft caress of Miss Brighton's lips against hers, they stood up. Alicia swayed to the rhythm of Miss Brighton's footsteps. With her high heels clicking on the marble floors she walked towards a dressing room at the end of the corridor. The walls of the hallways had various paintings of erotic women with bountiful curves and voluptuous assets, in skimpy clothes. Alicia could not believe how she missed such tantalizing decor.
Miss Brighton took Alicia to a room full of clothes, each one more daring, more skimpy and slutty than the previous. Alicia couldn't take her eyes off of the revealing, enticing lingerie, skimpy tops and mini-skirts, and provocative undergarments, the colours of the clothes seemed so bright, and enticing, and tempting, and Alicia's skin was aching with a hunger to wear every piece.
"Don't be shy, dear. Take one. After all, there aren't any inhibitions left inside that head of yours, are there?" Miss Brighton whispered in Alicia's ear as she passed, trailing a teasing line across her collarbone as if painting her flesh.
Alicia trembled with an insatiable, overwhelming, and intoxicating need. It consumed her thoughts completely, the feeling of desire building up until it seemed unbearable. An incoherent noise bubbled from within her chest. Alicia lunged for the nearest article of clothing in a state of near frenzy. She grasped the g-string, the sheer material gliding beneath her fingers. Her heart pounded heavily against her chest. With a quick movement, she slipped it on. Alicia's pussy clenched as the fabric settled over her sensitive and aching slit, and the sensation was electric as her need grew even greater and her clit throbbed hard with a desire to be touched. She reached for a matching lacy, sheer bra next. The tiny piece of fabric cupped her sensitive breasts so perfectly. They fit so neatly into the thin material, and her nipples poked out through the sheer lace, straining to break free.
"Hmmm. Very good, dear. Continue to please." Miss Brighton nodded in approval.
With an excited eagerness that was all but uncontainable, Alicia moved onto the rest of her new wardrobe, sliding on the black stockings with red ribbons that wrapped tightly up to her mid thighs, then shimmying her way into a pencil skirt that hugged and accentuated her curvy behind and was just short enough to leave almost nothing left for anyone's imagination. A top strained to be see-through hugged her bust.
Miss Brighton's smile of approval was enough to spur her onward.
With her high-heeled pumps tapping lightly against the floor, Alicia walked over to Miss Brighton and smiled brightly, her eyes alight with delight. "How do I look, miss?" Alicia's voice dripped with anticipation. A delightful, wicked tingle raced through her whole body as Miss Brighton's eyes hungrily devoured the sight.
"Delicious." Miss Brighton emphasized the last s into a long lustfilled sound. It weaved it's way through Alicia's taught frame. She stood straighter, stiffer in response. A good slut only came on command. But she stirred in hot molten ecstasy. It was enough for Alicia.
"Your office is right at the end of this corridor, whore," Miss Brighton purred. A thin finger traced the valley of Alicia's breast down towards her stomach, ending just before her mound. Alicia clenched her muscles tight to not squirm in delight.
"Yes, Miss Brighton," Alicia mewed, barely a whisper passing between those thick, glossed lips, as her eyes half closed under heavy eyelids. "I will get to it. Immediately." She pushed the word out past the thick veil of arousal that hung on her mind like a heavy wet curtain, obscuring everything.
"And don't forget: be ready all the time, dear," the last word dripped like hot, wet sex down Alicia's body.
Rolling her hips, Alicia sashayed to her new office — her new life and self.
#corruption kink#hypno fantasy#brainwashing#mind corruption#bimboification#bimb0fication#mind control#mind control story#brainwashing fantasy#brainwashing kink#brainwashing story#pinkofatom#fem sub
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guess who made it to the Black Sea arc today :D
kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me
(rambles bellow vvv)
Anyways ensa has become one of my favorite NPCs and I think Lizzie and Ava’s backstory is gonna have me throw myself over the boat railing. I’m very normal about the past 7 episodes and did not watch them all in one day. Who do u think I am, what do u take me for (I totally did) also Lizzie’s “I loved her” had me physically ILLLLLLL AHGAFAHAGAGAGGA I WAS GONNA CRY. I WAS JUST CASUALLY LISTENING AND HAD MY GODDAMN HEART RIPPED OUT. I need more caspian content……. Please god…… I beg…… also the fucking pin I can’t that was the funniest shit at like midnight last night. Also drey my love I actually adore this stupid mothefucker so much. I don’t even know WHEN he snuck his was into my top npcs but Jesus Christ he will not go AWAY FOR FUCKS SAKE. HES SO SILLY. I LOVE HIM. also MAY FERRIN MY BELOVED HOLDS HER GENTLY IN MY PALMS. I’ve never felt more fear then the boat ride of e98/99 (I think at least it might be smth else idk I’m tired) that shit had me SCAREDDDDD. anyways I remembered this one poly pirate fic I read that took place during that episode so now ima go back and reread it soon so I can suffer. Also I fully see pistol whip and I also see navy seal. I’m just, quite honestly, in love with Lizzie and think she needs a hug from just somebody. CHIPS CASUAL I LOVE U TO HER MY SON GET OVER HERE IM GONNA CRY. also THIS JUST IN, WERE RECEIVING REPORTS THAT A NEW FAD IS TAKING THE NATION BY STORM. ITS NAME. JORTS. BUT IT APPEARS AS IF THEY BREAKTHROUGH IN JEAN SHORT SPLICING TECHNOLOGY IS CAUSING IRREGULAR WEATHER PATTERNS ALL ACROSS THE GLO- WOOOO ITS THE WARMER SEASON SO I CANT WEAR JEANS I REALLY LIKE THE DENIM, BUT NOT THE LENGTH OF THE SEAM. MY MOM DRESSES CAS AND MY DAD LIKES TO PREEN IM NOT LIKE EITHER OF THEM I GOT THE RECESSIVE JEAN. JORT STORM. JORT STORMS COMMIN TONIGHT. A JORT STORM ITS A CATEGORY 5. JORT STORM. JORT STORMS COMMIN TONIGHT. I SAID A JORT STORMS COMMIN SO RUN AND HIIIIIDE. JORTICANE. JORTNADO. JORTNAMI. JORTQUAKE. JORTRUPTION. JORTALANCHE. JOOOORTPOCALYPSE. THE JORT STORMS COMMIN. JORT. SO YOU BETTER START RUNNING FAAAAAST ITS A CHASEEE. BUT BE CAREFUL CAUSE THESE JORTS WILL CHAFFE YOU YEAH. THEY’RE THE NEW SENSATION. JORTS. WEAR EEM TO EVERY OCCASION JOOOOORTS IN THE POOOOLL. OR EVEN BETTER WEAR EM TO A FUNERAL YEAH. MY PERSONALITY IS 99% JORTS I GOT A GENETIC TEST BUT ALL MY JEANS WERE SHORTSSSSS A JORT STORM. JORT STORMS COMMIN TONIGHT. JORT STORM, ITS A CATEGORY 5. JORT STORM. JORT STORMS COMMIN TONIGHT I TAKE OFF MY FUCKIN JORTS I GOT ON JORTS INSIIIIIDEEEE. BREAKING NEWS, MILLIONS OF AMERICANS ARE BEING SUCKED DIRECTLY INTO THE JORTEX, AND ITS HEADING STRAIGHT FOR THIS STUDIO. TO MY WIFE CHERYL, AND SON TIMMY, I LOVE YOUUUUUU. JORTS. THE ELDERS FORETOLD. JORTS. OF A FASHION SO BOLD. A NEW GOD OF THE EARTHHHHH. TO SEAL IT IN DENIM AND TURN IT INTO JEARTH. kazoo.
anyways back to the boat I go. Time to binge the suckening. I will most likely write more about jrwi eventually
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GUYS I FIGURED OUT THE SECRET TO BEING CURIOUS ABOUT PEOPLE!!!! As in having questions to ask them about themselves,,
You see, you can search up "questions to get to know people" but it's not very useful when you don't know why to ask those things in particular. What is "getting to know" someone, anyway? What do you need to know? Why do you need to know those things, it's kinda unclear and unexplained. Nobody gives any consistent answers?? The secret is that it's strategic!! You're finding out their tastes so you can know how to make them happy!!
When you ask what their favorite color is, you're asking what color should be prominent in gifts you make/buy them, down the line when you have a reason to get them gifts! When you ask what their favorite food is, you're asking where you should invite them to go to lunch when you find yourself wanting to hang out with them more down the line! When you ask them if they have siblings, you're thinking about how people attribute certain personality traits to family structure, so you're asking them how they tend to act and maybe you're basing how you act around them off of that!
It's not random trivia you memorize for no reason, it's all knowledge you apply later!!
Personally this kinda changes everything for me. I don't really like memorizing things for the sake of it, but I love applying techniques and doing stuff with what I've learned. It's why I tend to like math rather than science (AS SCHOOL SUBJECTS), because science in school is taught as just memorizing stuff w/o learning to use most of it. Plus, I think people are expected to know and apply this knowledge - they're just not told it explicitly.
#literally all my life i've been the most socially uncurious person ever which is. embarrassing#partially bc i had/have low self-esteem and I could never kick the idea that they'd feel as uncomfortable being asked questions as I did/do#maybe a bit because I always figured they'd answer and ask me the same question and as I said I was uncomfortable talking about myself#and I've never been in an environment where people were trying to get to know me while still clearly liking/not hating me#at least it's never felt like I have. This is very new to me.#but also partially bc of this!! I didn't know there was a point to asking all those trivial questions!!#I just thought it went oh what's your favorite color? green? cool#I guess that filled the silence for a second. now we'll never think about this again#but that's not true!! It's for a purpose!!#i feel like someone should have told me this... oh well
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you are complaining about complaining too much while complaining about the fact that maybe people dont like you because you complain too much while complaining about being alone. just stop complaining and do something about it. talk to people. reach out. dont just wait for someone to come to you first.
i have tried reaching out to different people in the past year or so but it never works. i understand its my own fault for letting relationships decay because of my own insecurities and issues but that doesn't mean i can just will myself to think or believe different things about myself. it's a self fulfilling prophecy ; i think people don't like me so i don't reach out so people don't like me etc . i am sure you do not want to hear me list all the things i want to say in response so i will put them in the tags.
#every time i try to reach out or talk to someone it goes nowhere. i dont have any social skills anymore and have no clue how to keep a#conversation going. half the time even when i do people stop replying to me. which is fine theydont owe me a reply but still feels likeshit#when i tried to make one new irl friend it just didn't work because they have better options for friends. we spoke occasionally but never#messaged online like ever and would only talk when we happened to be in the same place. i tried multiple times to organize a time to hangou#none of which came to pass. i dont understand why this one didn't work because i thought this person was interested in being my friend but#i guess i was wrong or thought they were more interested than they really were.#i have a problem with reaching out anyway which has been a problem i have had since i was like 11. reaching out to people first doesnt come#easily to me - in the beginning when i was a lot younger i didn't want to bother people with my presence & thought if i were to come to#someone first they would feel pressured into talking to me when they didn't want to. this is stupid of course. but has still not left me as#something i feel is very core to the way i act today. waiting for someone to come to me first feels like my only option because i do not#know how to reach out effectively (my evidence being i have failed every time i have tried) & i am convinced people dont like me in the#first place and do not want me to approach them.#i dont really even know who to reach out to in the first place. my world is extremely narrow. the number of people i know has shrunk#significantly and my standing in their eyes collectively has also shrunk significantly in the past few years. i feel like every person i#was once friends with wants nothing to do with me. i feel as if i have burned every bridge possible.#when it comes to the fact i complain all the time . which i know of course is annoying. its because i cant find any kind of joy in anything#i do or see or whatever. nothing makes me happy - i only see things to complain about. all stimulus seems grating and the world seems#specifically catered to make me miserable. all i can really do is complain. i treat this blog like a stream of consciousness and when most#of that consciousness is occupied with how much i hate being alive the blog will mostly be complaining. its a vicious cycle lol .#anyway . i guess the key theme is low self esteem begets low self esteem in many ways. mental illness begets mental illness.#i am not really saying this to anyone least of all to you anon. i just felt compelled to recount i guess for myself the reasons that came#to mind for why i am like this. i am talking to myself here
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still haven't moved on from zane in this episode (aka I hit tag limit again and am unhappy about it)
#alek insanity#not gonna main tag this but prepare for a tiny rant#home is actually really good zane characterization and its super cool to me how it holds up to this day#s1 characterization is very specific to me because the behaviors displayed by the ninja there (mostly) isnt bc thats how they really are but#its due to societal pressure. cole originally being more 'stone faced tough guy' -> 'down to earth' -> 'really sensible easy to talk to guy'#is because hes always been a sensitive guy... but he felt he couldnt express that true version of himself. thats the whole thing behind his#true potential. jay going from s1 -> s6 -> now is less of societal pressure and more teenager figuring himself out but it still applies. ish#seeing how much the ninja have changed or grown from then to now is amazing because back then they all wore masks. they didnt know each#other all that well. but theyve gained that comfortability with each other and also have grown and matured as people#some seasons / eps characterization for certain people im not a fan of (lloyds random misogyny arc in s13) but i mean the overall trend here#and then there is zane. zane in home was pretty dead on to how he behaves now (at least... when it comes to his faults?) and i dont want to#say people skim over that but i am the sf proclaimed n1 s1e2 fan and overthink every scene. zane's early characterization is some of my fav#for him period. he also goes through a ton of traumatic stuff and a ton of bad writing bouts but why he acts so 'weird' or 'distant' has#always been a thread sewn in. he changed so much he stayed the same in a way... if that makes sense. -> ohhh the ninja get mail and he#doesnt? oh he has no family? he quite literally walks away from that situation. oh the ninja are yelling in his face and asking whats wrong#with him? he literally walks away from that situation. he says its to follow the falcon but seeing how he apologized to them by not only#baking a ton of pies (cough... the food fight is what led to him leaving at first) but he also found them a whole entire new house.#zane is unable to truly value what he does for others. insert him in s11 saying he 'tried' to fufill his goal of protecting others.#everything he has ever done still isnt good enough. then the ninja tried to apologize and he didnt really... let them.#that one post about characters putting on facades and that facade being how people really see them. even in fandom. thats zane to me#the guy who lies about being upset and avoids his problems ran away after being yelled at? and he said he wasnt really mad? that is a lie!!#him being a ~360 when it comes to his character development is neat to me because he never hid behind a mask in the same way the others did#cole wanting to seem tough vs being really soft? kai wanting approval so bad he starts being selfish? kai isnt selfish usually!#he is self centered but that is a whole different thing. just wanting to fit in and breaking free of that. zane's true potential came in the#form of 'i finally know why i am not normal' instead of 'i will be my true self'. zane never pretended to not be weird#(instert book) states he literally didnt know why people got mad at him. he just existed and it was 'wrong'. the mask he hid behind was#avoidance. he was pretty open about how he actually was (most of the time). when he was upset he would audibly sigh and walk away lol#but for him saying he wasnt upset / saddened by the ninja... it felt like a moment of selflessness. if that makes sense. he blamed himself#for the monestary burning down. so he didnt deserve the apologies (ish) in the virtues of spinjitzu zane is shown as the generous one iirc#he puts the needs of others over his own. he will bear whatever burden he needs if others are happy. at that same time he doesnt allow
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I'VE FINALLY FINISHED BROTHERSHIP IT WAS SOOOOO GOOD!!!!!!!
#clai speaks#spoilers in the tags probably#ahhh first of all i am still astounded the game exists at all. we all thought m&l was done forever but here it is!!!#the timing of me playing superstar saga and getting really into mario last year couldnt have been better#i mean i probably would have played brothership still even if mario hadnt become a main interest of mine like that. but anyway#absolutely stellar re-entry into the series it did not disappoint in the SLIGHTEST#i think i 100%'d it? only thing i didnt do was finish that last dyode dance sequence but like its fiiiine#took about 50 hours i didnt get a chance to check my final time. really surprised that the game went that long!#i dont think it was a bad thing at all though. the game mostly didnt feel like it was overstaying its welcome#i did think lottacoins and the lower level solitree went a tad too long and i didnt like them but only a little. they're still fine sections#surprised that i didnt even feel like the sidequests were a drag they were all alright!#character interactions were so good ofc. love the new cast!! starlow felt a bit flat which is a shame but she also didnt appear much so#the sidequest where she visits bowser and he calls her chippy!!!! made me so happy!!!!!#all the callbacks were so good i'm glad they can still do that. yelled out loud after finding the peasley reef#docking points for no dreambert reef however. jail worthy offence#on reclusa specifically i dont have a lot to say about his character he's just your typical evil for the sake of evil villain#but i have to say i Love his design. the really exaggerated facial expressions and that clown neck frill. really fun character actually!!#ahhh call me childish but i'm never a fan of endings where friends separate but i like to think the second uni-tree--#--will allow them to link back up once its grown and can generate more connectar to do it#cant say if its my favorite yet bc recency bias is still too fresh but its absolutely my second favorite m&l game at least!!#i havent played paper jam yet i wanted to play the original paper mario and spm first. but i always hear its bad so??#brothership is at least on par with dream team for me rn. absolutely stellar game#i hope this means we'll get more m&l someday! i've already left a very positive response on the survey they put out#anyway. now to decide what to play next because i have a MASSIVE backlog of games and i didnt think this would take this long BJDHJFHF#10/10!!!! please play brothership immediately
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Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy
You have... very very very very very very very very smart people you know, and they're say something that not only isn't true, but literally is as opposite of the truth as it's possible to be... and you'll... gently inform them "hey, it's actually a bit more like this" and then they just kinda... go on saying literally the exact same thing
I'm not sure if it's just that... I often feel like I must be very bad at communicating, or people must just not notice/ignore a lot of what I say, but... I don't know
Like dearest friend, you've said something as absurd as... I don't know, it's hard to say without saying it, but honest to god about as absurd as saying the United States was a part of the USSR, that level of completely getting it backwards
...and it just doesn't seem to matter when I try to explain it... I legit don't even know if you read what I said
Really end up feeling like I'm going nuts sometimes
#to be clear; I don't mind people disagreeing with me (though that's not what's happened here... I don't think I came into it at all)#but all I need in order to be able to work with disagreement is just... knowing you at least heard and understood me#like if it's 'I get that you think that vanilla is a good flavor of icecream; but I really prefer chocolate'... ok; this works for me#it's that... a lot of the time it honest feels more like 'what are you talking about? vanilla isn't a flavor' where... huh?#let's take a real example; not everyone needs to agree with me on nuclear#but like... someone saying 'I get that it's way safer these days; but I still worry about waste storage'... well ok then#but if it's just like 'but it's dangerous and will explode' even after I've explained about the designs now#where there's a salt plug that with melt and drain before anything can happen; and these materials don't like to run away#...and it's not like they're asking me to back up the source; it's like I never said anything at all...#what am I supposed to do here? you feel me on that? do you start to get why I feel like I'm going crazy when that's how it often feels?#no one is obliged to agree with me but... literally just active listening would fix this... say you heard me and we're good#acknowledge that I voiced something and it's been noted#honestly... honestly my who life it's felt like I must somehow actually be invisible#...to an extent maybe I'm a figment of my own imagination; I might well be a ghost that's lonely and makes you all up#...for all the impact my actions have#or maybe literally everything I say just comes out garbled... is that it?#this post is about something very specific; but it's also about something that happens a lot with a lot of different people#on a broader scale; why is it no one else seems to be able to connect the dots#and these aren't like... conspiracy theory dots; these are like russia buys drones from Iran; therefore russia and Iran are partners#that's the kind of dots I'm talking about connecting; please tell me that's not a conspiracy theory to you... it seems plain to me#I don't know... I really don't... I don't think much I say will ever have any impact anywhere on anyone#...honestly a good 90% of the time people don't even respond to what I say#not like my posts here; I mean direct in dms or whatever; I'll say stuff and it's just silence or a new subject#again; across multiple people; it's common... it's... I think it happens more often than it doesn't#I can instantly name 4 conversations with 4 different people that's happened with lately#and that's not counting the 3 where I know the reason why it's happened#I really am something unfit to live; the evidence is endless#mm tag so i can find things later
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@beatingheart-bride
It certainly was an adjustment: For so long, it had just been him and Emily, against the whole world it seemed. From the time that they first met to that long stretch of time before they migrated to California and found the Mansion, it had just been the two of them, and for that time, they were all they needed. In some ways, it was a bit of a culture shock when they moved to Gracey Manor, and found themselves in the company of not just familiar faces like Dorian and Elizabeth, but suddenly surrounded by like-minded spooks, spooks who didn't bat an eye at their relationship, and were instead whole-heartedly supportive of them. After ages of having to hide their love from prying eyes, it was bizarre, to be able to be so open.
And then came his parents, and that brought with it its own necessary adjustments, to have his mother and father back in his (after)life after so long. To not only reunite with his mother, but to reconnect with his father and make amends, forging the sort of father-son bond he never thought he'd ever have, and to have both June and Wilhelm so readily embrace Emily? It was a lot to take in the moment, but it had paid dividends: He had his parents back, Emily had a pair of parental figures to turn to, and their children had a set of loving grandparents to grow up around.
And now his uncles and his grandparents were in the mix, and that opened so many doors! Clearly, both the Paces and the Burkes had taken a shine to Emily (which put Randall over the moon, seeing his wife have a loving and supportive family unit after so long), and it made him so happy, to see his father reconnecting with his older brother, and his mother so overjoyed to be reunited with her parents, and the children were warming up to the new members, who loved them (and him, he had to remind himself) as soon as they laid eyes on them. It would mean birthdays and holidays together, letters and cards exchanged...for so long it had been him and his mother, then himself and Emily, and now...their little family had grown so much!
"Oh, she looked like a little angel, didn't she?" Randall grinned, his undead heart fluttering at the memory of his little girl, looking so cherubic as she lay between her grandparents, any unease or uncertainty felt previously having largely evaporated.
Lon similarly looked angelic between his uncles; at this memory, Randall couldn't help but chuckle amusedly, adding, "Y'know, I think we've finally found someone-two someone's, in fact-that can wear out even our boy!"
#((ugh it sounds absolutely horrible! and to have it happen to you as a little kid; you're already frightened by something))#((you saw in a movie...and then that something that already freaked you out came for a midnight visit))#((and you have a terrifying instance of feeling like you're about to be killed by your sleep paralysis demon? jeez!!))#((again; i'm very fortunate that i've never had something happen like that...but i feel like i had something similar))#((when i was in high school i got sick overnight-don't know what it was; but it made me feel awful))#((and it certainly didn't help that my new bedsheets were REALLY uncomfortable))#((and i felt like my bed was trying to mug me so i got out of bed and decided to lay down in the living room))#((why i chose to lay on the floor i couldn't tell you but i did; and i don't know if i dozed off or what))#((but i had SOME kind of nightmare where all of these monsters from all these different movies))#((were standing around me; just staring me down-the one i remember the most vividly))#((was der maschinenmensch from 'metropolis'! they never made a move towards me; they just watched me))#((and it was extremely unsettling to say the least! i don't *think* it was sleep paralysis))#((but whatever it was; it made an already-rough night of feeling sick worse!))#outofhatboxes#beatingheart-bride#V:Two Worlds; One Family
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I'm about to be so annoying btw
#by this I mean I'm going to talk about my job until it's no longer new and exciting sorry guys#but this is literally the first good thing to happen to me in MONTHS#shit has been so bad like SO unbelievably bad for a WHILE#like. not only do I have a job (!!!!!!) but it actually seems like a really good fit for me and what I need#like. the hours aren't horrible and in fact I could stand to have more of them#the pay isn't *good* but it's not the worst I've ever made for sure#the work environment though... that's where it gets me. because I get to just be one guy in a store interacting with customers and literally#nobody else#for most of my workday#like. no small talk except for with customers. no learning about my coworker's stupid life. no trying to get along with someone for the sake#of work#like. I just get to be alone and sell shit and when it's slow I get to organize shit like. hello??? yes please#I don't have to be micromanaged because I'm literally alone. like. god I'm so excited#plus it's similar to work I've done before. so. yay#I do really like the coworker I've met before though. he's very sedate and has excellent customer service.#which I know bc every time my mom shops there and he's the one working he's very genial and nice#definitely good at his job. but I wouldn't be surprised if he was getting high in the back or something lmao#he's just so calm ive never met a dude more chill like. he seems like the exact opposite of anxious#and then my other coworker I haven't met yet but I'm sure she's fine.#I do like my boss though! and she's only my boss until they get another manager bc she's actually the manager at another location too#she's just filling in here while they look for another manager#but I like her she was extremely up-front and no-nonsense and plainly stated exactly what she needs from an employer#employee*#which is honestly such a relief like my last job I felt like I had no clue what people wanted from me and it was horrible#but this seems better so far#also I know for a fact I beat out two other people who had interviews the same day and I was so much the preferred choice#that she didn't even wait to decide or anything#she called me like a few hours after my interview ended like. that 3rd person left and she immediately hired me instead lol#which I have to admit does feel good after so long feeling inadequate and unhirable.#I am more hirable than at least two people. so THERE
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